Emotions . . .

This week has stirred in me a host of emotions including anger, sadness, hopelessness, and even fear.  I am angry that a young police officer with a family, including a new baby, died a violent death while performing his duties and protecting the citizens of my community.  Having responded to a report of shots fired, this officer engaged in pursuit of the shooter who crashed his vehicle into the officer’s patrol car.  The young officer was critically injured and had to be pulled from his burning vehicle by his partners.  I am angry because of this senseless, needless loss. I am angry that the suspect, like so many others in our community, wasn’t able or willing to solve his problems without violence.

I am extraordinarily sad.  I’m sad that a young family has lost a father, husband and son.  I am sad that there is no answer to satisfy the nagging question of why this happened.  And I’m sad that someone who had chosen to serve, and was willing to sacrifice for his community, made the ultimate sacrifice for people he never knew.  I am sad that this young man died serving not only those who appreciated his service, but so many who would demean his profession and those who grieve his loss.

Some days I feel hopeless because there doesn’t seem to be any answer to the violence that plagues our urban communities.  Some days I feel hopeless that so many families are broken, so many young people have no appropriate role models or mentors. I feel hopeless because, despite endless promises, programs and platitudes, no one has done anything meaningful to address the problem of poverty that fuels the desperate atmosphere of our inner cities. I feel hopeless because of the great ideological divides in our country - political, economic, religious - and the ever-vanishing moral compass we all once embraced. And by “moral compass” I mean only God’s command to “do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with the Lord” (Micah 6:8) and to love God and your neighbor (Matthew 22: 38-40). 

And yes, I feel fear.  I am fearful that violence will increase, that our moral center will continue to shift, that poverty will never be eradicated, that immigrants, the desperate, and downtrodden will suffer even more. And I am fearful that we will never again find common ground as a starting point to narrow the great divide of ideals that separate us and and prevent us from meaningful problem solving. 

And yet, God reigns and He will make all things new and right and pure and holy. This is where I find my comfort . . . my hope.  How about you?